| Neo-Communication |
| Thursday, 27 March 2008 | |
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Last week, when I was picking up my three younger sons from elementary school, one of their school friends asked them where their cell phones were. One of my sons said that they didn't have cell phones. I was shocked by their friend's reaction. She said, "What?! You don't have a cell phone? How can you not have a cell phone? Everyone has a cell phone!" By her reaction, you would have thought they said they don't have shoes or a jacket. Communication is changing at such a rapid pace, that before long, I'm sure this fourth-grader's response will be more and more common. Even those of us out of elementary school might forget that when we were this age, we only had a few standard options for communicating with others. They were:
There are other things that I'm not sure whether to be fascinated or disturbed by. For example:
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Comments (11)
 
Since I'm a writer, my usual and preferred method of communication is email.
I have nothing against other forms, but I don't prefer them. I got rid of my phone and cell phone (I only used the cell phone three months and hardly used it) and do all my phoning through Skype; it saves a bundle. Sometimes I videoconference. Since Skype isn't on all the time, I screen calls, and filter out the telemarketers. Text messages are interesting, but just not long enough yet. The trouble with more forms of communication is that quantity all too often becomes a substitute for quality. My friends used to forward jokes to me because they thought I'd appreciate them, and because it was easier to forward stuff than to actually write me. My dad still does this. And then there's the spam and telemarketers; more communication methods means more attempts at exploitation. But in amongst the problems is the actual human contact that goes on, so there's that, I suppose. 1 report abuse
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March 27, 2008
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I had a conversation, in person
 , with a friend today about how strange it might be to go have lunch with someone whose main mode of communication with me has largely been email. This is rather an odd discussion considering I talk to people for a living. Nonetheless, it brought about the fact that writing can be done over great lengths of time and thoughts can be hashed out and grammar corrected. In person, time is much faster. I have learned, somewhat, to think before I speak but the fear of sounding much less intelligent in person still exists. I once had a guy friend who wanted to have this serious conversation on the phone (cell) and I told him that it would be best to do it in person. His response, "This is in person" Not to comment on his intelligence, but since so much had been done online, being on the phone was considered 'in person'. I fear that my younger daughter is growing up in this artificial relationship world, and I support her anytime she wants to just go hang out with friends, or do any kinds of sport, etc. Although, neo comm has given us relationships around the world, I do not think it can ever replace the quality and intimacy of face-to-face relationships. 2 report abuse
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March 27, 2008
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I wonder whether the hunder for true ralationality is what lises at the root of your questions, perhaps this is why I surprised myself today: http://sallysjourney.typepad.c...-myse.html
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March 27, 2008
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Hiya John ~ I don't have any issues with the new forms of communication. I got rid of my landline in the house simply because I was shelling out $45.00 per month for the luxury of having something that I never used. Cell phone plans are better and cheaper now.
I sometimes am sad that I may never meet some of the people who I know on-line. I have developed some very close relationships with people I have never met. I don't find this to be a bad thing. Maybe I'm just too trusting. I normally communicate with folks through email. I hate getting spam and forwards, but it is part of the price we pay for the convenience. This isn't much of a change thought, I very rarely talk on the phone. Actually, if I didn't have to have one, I probably wouldn't. Prior to Internet, I used to actually write letters. Now that my son is here, this subject is something that I have started to consider a little more harshly. I have the ability to protect myself fairly well but fear for him. I think that I would probably not allow him access without supervision and a cell phone is still a toss up for later. He will definitely not have one in 4th grade. Sheesh!! 4 report abuse
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March 27, 2008
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# What is your reaction to newer forms of communication?
I'm grateful actually. Really grateful. I met my husband online. The internet has allowed me to 'meet' and get to know people that I never would have otherwise. Blogging has been especially fruitful in that area. # What are your primary modes of communication with people in your life? Face to face and cell phone for those here in Utah. Email and text messaging for those outside of Utah. # What impact on relationships and society do you believe newer forms of communication are having? I'm not sure I can speak to that. I know the impact it is having on a very local scale (those that I interact with, those within the sphere of my daily life). The one thing I could comment on from that point of view is what I see working in retail: the overwhelming amount of text messaging going on while people shop. Trying to help them is harder because it's a non-stop fight to get and keep their attention. Definitely make my job harder. :-D 5 report abuse
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March 28, 2008
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I hear a lot about how sad it is that virtual relationships are well, virtual. It is seen by some as a failing of email/blogs/networking sites and some have said that such relationship aren't "real." But relationships where one never meets in person is nothing new. There is a whole history of pen pals and archives of correspondence from ages past where those involved never met. And yet they developed relationships. I think the movie 84 Charing Cross Road highlights such a relationship. Maybe there are more such relationships today, but they can't be blamed on new communication.
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March 28, 2008
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I had a conversation with someone this morning and the most important part was when I touched him on the shoulder - a very important part of communication that said "I value you and care about you". While I use and enjoy all the listed forms of communication you described, person to person is the best for relational sanity. Even this has its pitfalls and one must constantly be honing his or her skills.
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March 30, 2008
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I used to really value the close relationships that I had wth my kids. This is especially true being a single mom. However, my oldest two left home and my youngest two were gifted with cell phones by their father.
Immediately, our relationships changed. They spent more time in their rooms, texting. My son, who never talked on the phone, had suddenly become the town gossip. My daughter laughs that she got finger cramps when she first got her phone from texting so much. We no longer played games, went for walks or fought over which tv show we were going to watch at night. If they took the dog for a walk, they talked/text more than paid attention to the dog. Socializing with mom became a chore for them. I made one rule, no talking/texting while in the car, I felt it was rude. They conceded. I struggled with taking the phones away from them as their dad had provided them and paid the bills. He does live a distance away and was his attempt to stay in contact with them. Maybe I am a pushover mom...and some of the intimacy of the relationship with my kids has been lost because of it. 8 report abuse
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March 30, 2008
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I didn't read the comments already made, perhaps this is a restatement, but it's all I have time to state today.
The one thing that I believe that the "communication-boom" has destroyed for children and teens especially is relationship with adults. I can remember the fear of pick up the phone to call a girl and having to speak with her parents. That's a good thing to learn. I can also remember calling a friend and talking his mom for five minutes before even getting on the phone with him. I was known and loved by my friends' parents. Now - our children and teenagers call cell phone to cell phone - never having to speak to or know the parents of their friends. What a shame. 9 report abuse
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March 31, 2008
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I am very glad newer forms of communication have come along, particularly via computer. E-mail, blogs and chat rooms enable me to find help for depression when I have no one else to turn to. While my preferred communication is face-to-face, I know there are things that I can say to a complete stranger that I cannot say to my friends or family. Because of my struggles with self-injury, anonymity is necessary for me at times and without the additional forms of interaction you mentioned above I might be in a very different place emotionally.
I do think it's tragic though that I cannot find the same sort of support in my own community. How is it that I can get what I need from strangers thousands of miles away but I can't get it from my church, my friends or my family? It seems to me that the technical age has allowed so many people, me included, to become far too anonymous in our suffering. Of course, if I didn't have my anonymity to protect me, I wouldn't be reaching out at all... 10 report abuse
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March 31, 2008
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My general thought is that all the techonology that has supposedly made us more connected has actually diminished reall connection adn intimacy.
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April 03, 2008
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